Listening Hard

 My college experiences so far, well their not the stuff of legends , but I still enjoy them. I guess we can start with my first college failure.

It all started with some chicken, and some rice. And as i'm sure you've guessed from the title, I am at least a little knowledgeable when it comes to the culinary aspects of life, I know my around a kitchen anyways. Well brilliant me, I decided to make some delicious taco's, and what better way than to christen my brand new, polka dotted crock pot, (the fact that it's polka-dotted is important). So I put my chicken in , and it's a crock pot, so there's not much else to do.Except I wanted rice with my taco's and so i put the rice in with the chicken and life was good. 

Except that it may not have been. 

Okay so maybe that's an exaggeration, for one I didn't really have an attractive man to share in the experience. 

and Two, my rice didn't actually explode. It just.... wasn't exactly delicious. We'll put it this way, I had some crunchy tacos for about a week. Because there's this thing called having more water than you do rice. ya.... i forgot about that. So i had some not so delicious tacos for dinner, it was pretty sad. 

Now moving on from depressing tacos, 

Other things i have learned from SUU, 

1. According to the band that played during the club fair, i need to put vodka in my lemonade. However i don't think this advice should be followed based on the fact that i don't want to ruin perfectly good lemonade and secondly, the band wasn't quite good enough to merit such devoted following. 

2. Lightening DOES strike the same spot twice, lately its been targeting the wireless routers, which makes for an enjoyable time in doing my online classes. 

3. Going off of the lightening thing, there has also been an oddly common occurrence of rainbows, i think the leprechauns are planning something. 

4.  SUU is pretty awesome,  GO T-BIRDS, ( i don't even know what a thunder bird is) Definitions i have received of a T-Bird: A chicken with extremely large biceps, A mans body with a feathered head, the list goes on for a while, but the chicken one is my personal favorite. 

Apparently this is a thunder bird. 

i'm not sure, i didn't know we were dinosaurs

i kind of wish we could do dinosaur impressions. 

it would definitely make things more entertaining. 

6. Cedar City has these twinkly light on all the trees on main street. They are really rather beautiful. They remind of how beautiful everything is, beauty in some of the most simple things. The simplicity of tiny little light bulbs, some how it makes me want to go frolic around like a fairy. 

      It reminds me of how different it is here. The differences that lie in the tiny little things.  I remember  my house used to have a sound, the way the floor boards creaked and groaned at miscellaneous times, the way the crickets played pretend musician outside my window at night. And how the wind would blow and whistle through the trees , it was normal . I have never realized that the night sounds different, that is now. For the past week i've been listening at night, the way my apartment creaks, and how the wind sounds here. Its different, it was unnerving at first, the difference, and really its rather silly because you would never think that those night sounds would make a difference. They do make a difference, the music here is different. 

I've been listening lately, listening to the way my days play out, how it sounds in my calculus class when half of the class falls prey to drowsy eyelids, and the squeak of almost remembered algorithms as i attempt to remain alert. The sounds of my bike as I ride around campus leaving strings of rickety chords along the cement, it's all becoming familiar to me. And more than that the sounds are starting to be me, this new place, this new experience, it's all mine, it's my own music, my own beat. And somehow that makes everything a little bit more okay. 

Off to le college world

I never really thought this time would come where I've packed all my bags, the last thing I need is a jet plane and  I could have my own theme song playing nostalgically in the background. But alas I am jet-planeless, so the daunting distance of cedar city is starting to become slightly intimidating. I move out in two days, It seems so very surreal as if some other person is moving out and going away, but not me. The weirdest part is knowing the rest of my life is out there just waiting for me, so much change in so little time.
This year I graduated highschool with very high expectations of the summer, these where slowly worn down to average expectations, because lets face it, the occupational hazards of a sandwhich artist just cant quite compare to those of a bungee jumper, and the hazards involved with nannying are more along the lines lethal mac n' cheese. But with that aside it's been a good summer, no, its been great. Because lets face it, if I weren't busy and working all the time I would have no idea what to do with myself, and while I did work a lot the exciting adventures me and my besties squeezed in there would not have been as fully appreciated as they were.
As I have been packing I have come to discover a couple of things,
Number 1: Sentimentality is slightly over rated, as I was tromping through the rivers of clothes and piles of things in my room I came upon a discovery of boxes of what I thought contained sentimental value. It was a lie, because the treasures of a 12 year old, while still valid are slightly sill and delusional. I found a Hannah Montana watch, a bunch of notes from 8th grade science that were less notes than they were scribblings of juvenile delinquent boys who at the time earned the rank to be given a code name. These ranged anywhere from fudge, to steak-sauce, [ don't ask me, it was a long time ago]. How ever despite all the ridiculous trinkets it allowed me to look at the girl I used to be. Slightly amused might I add. But I couldn't throw most of that silly stuff away, to me it seemed like I was betraying her, that little girl with WAY too much eye shadow and braces. 
And as I delved deeper into my room I discovered something a little bit sad. the sadness that comes out of the hundred acre woods when Christopher Robin says he can't do 'nothing' anymore. Here the nostalgia becomes overwhelming, and I realize as I look into the eyes of my worn down stuffed animals that nothing is going to be the same.
With that said, I look this crazy rollercoaster in the eyes, and think of all the possibilities , the memories and rltb's and my whole crazy journey  that waits ahead. Ogden- its been grand, but i guess its time to say goodbye.

Senioritis and suicidal kidneys

I've never like the doctors, not when i was five and smashed my head open on a door frame, not when I sliced my finger open on a cup, and especially not the multiple times I have visited the lovely residence due to my kidneys.
I imagine my kidneys are actually pretty nice, after all they do filter all my fluids for me, and the also detoxify things with all their little nephrons. But i do have to say, Kidneys i would be very appreciative if you stop trying to do whatever it is you are doing. In the past two years i have passed 3 kidney stones, yep, three, and I'm not even old or falling apart or anything. So i guess, this time my kidneys are just really upset, i blame North Korea, High School, and Utah.
And when it comes to my kidneys, the left one, he's a rather peachy, only one kidney stone has he deemed necessary, and for the most part he's the more tolerant of the two. His name is Francis, and overall he's a decent fellow. He just sits there contentedly going through all the fluid i give him, never asking for more, well sometimes he does. He's nice, i like him. I think you would too, if he weren't located inside my back.
Now He has this brother, Ivan, also just so you know, i was having difficulties naming Ivan, and apparently Tazer is good name for a boy, also Zenon. But i settled on Ivan, kind of going along the lines of Ivan the terrible, and Mustang just didn't quite cut it.
But Ivan , i guess you can say he is the troubled brooding sibling. Mostly he's really into hurting me. I don't know if he's trying to make some sort of shank, made up oxalic acid and calcium bonded together in a little star bust of death and dismemberment. Anyways, it's his new favorite thing. You'd think that he would be satisfied after having dropped one of his little bombs on me in the middle of a duathalon, or every time I've tried to go hiking in the past, year and a half, or you know deciding opening week of the musical. But no, he's not satisfied, and the more i try to talk sense into him the worse he gets. This is where North Korea comes in,he doesn't like them at all, and i guess this is his way of protesting, by causing me pain. Ivan, he's very temperamental, anything can set him off into one of his wretched tantrums. I don't appreciate it, and as a result, i get to have a CT-Scan.
I know its actually silly , but CT- Scans sound extremely ominous and oppressive, like I'm condemning myself by having one, which I know is not the case. But still it's one of those things that freaks me out .
So until i have this ominous operation , i will wait, and try to talk my kidneys out  of being ridiculous.

wish me luck.

 

I Walked Home in the Rain

I'm feeling poetic, don't ask me why, i couldn't answer you. Maybe its the weather, i love the rain . Maybe it's the way the sky looks, all gray and fuzzy and brooding. I feel like the sky is a giant blanket waiting to wrap me up in that melancholly sort of comfort. It edges around trees, and fills in streets, and when you breathe it feels like your drinking in the air.
               I finished the book 'The Fault in Our Stars' by John Greene yesterday. Maybe that has something to do with it. And it was one of those books that made me change, where you can feel the words inside of your mind, and you know you can never be the same. For those of you who have read you'll understand, if not i'll avoid spoiling anything. But that book made me think, about humanity and how beautiful it is, how beautiful life is.
            I guess it's that we all have a secret, the kind of secret that weighs down on your shoulders. That you push around like a laden down shopping cart, with broken wheels, so sometimes it rolls and other time you have to drag it up the hill behind you. The pain, thats the secret everyone has it. It's what makes us human, it's what makes us strong. The thing that always strikes me about humanity, is that in this big wide world, all of us wrapped like oysters trying hide away the pain, is that we all understand. I am always amazed by the people around me,  who carry around such heavy burdens , and yet they are the ones who make me smile, they lift me up. And i don't know what i would do without them. There are a lot of people who influence you, every person you ever meet etches themselves someway or another onto your conscience. But there's those people that change you, they inspire you, they take your breathe away, and they show you the path. Which is in a way their path, and so we go on and on , and take and influence and follow , and soon enough, we are all part of this giant intricate web. the places we intersect, the people we branch away with.
               I believe in being strong, but i also believe in vlunerablility and crying , and being able to be human. The messy-sobby-i-just-watched-time-travelers-wife-and-read-the-book-thief kind. There's nothing wrong with that. After all, how do we get stronger and pick up puzzle pieces to make new puzzles if there's no pieces to pick up. i guess what i'm trying to say is that i understand.

Smile Please

Can you imagine, if everyone smiled all the time, I'm not talking about the flight attendant barbie smile, but real genuine smiles. Where your eyes go all squinty and you can just feel the happiness, tight in your cheeks, and dripping off your eye lashes. We smile, yes its true, but the fact of the matter is smiles, from what I have seen have become more of a grimace.

And it's a shame I tell you, a shame. I wish humanity were much more of smiles , smiles and happiness. While I know it's a lot to ask, because lets face it, a lot of terrible , unhappy, nasty things happen all the time. But life as a whole would be so much more bearable if everyone smiled. The reason, I believe , that good genuine happy smiles are hard to come by, is that nowadays everyone excepts to just have happiness thrust up them , too many of us, me included forget about all the little things, life has to offer, the little things that inevitably will make you smile.  For me I have some things that just make me laugh 

Number 1: BUBBLES!!!!!! 

Yes Bubbles, how great are they? I love them, today in my theatre class, there were randomly bubbles and honestly it was the greatest thing of my life! Bubbles, for one it's just a really fun word to say, say bubbles 6 times fast , and it just makes you happy, also i feel like that fish in finding nemo. But really there is nothing happier than blowing bubbles, and watching them float all over the place, or stomping around like a little kid and popping them!

Number 2: Not Wearing Pants 

Trust me on this one, if you ever have a blue melancholy no good day, wear a dress. Something about it is just grand. Pants are restricting, and lame, but wearing a dress, for me , well it just makes me feel girly, and a girl can use that every once a while. 

Number 3: Walking around my house like a T-rex. 

Don't judge me, It's true, I can't help it sometimes okay. Like after dinner the other day i started creeping around the kitchen like a dinosaur, it was wonderful, you get the little arms and weird legs going, the best is when you try to run like a dinosaur, 

It's great, also a lot harder than you would think. 

Number 4: 

Yelling German at people

It's so great, because you can literally be saying the you think they are a beautiful butterfly, and it sounds like you are yelling at them to go to hell. It's great. Also German words are just great fun to say, like SCHMETTERLING, or KRANKENHAUSE!!! they sound so angry,when in reality they aren't angry words at all. I love saying squirrel in German too,which i will not spell out because it would ruin the effect.  

Number 5: This picture 

Seriously though , this cracks me up like nothing else. Its a camel! a camel!! and that little girl is just so happy, i swear the smiling right here is contagious. Oh goodness, I love this girl. 

......Smile... 

......Please.....

 It's worth your time,
 I promise

My quest

                This is me attempting to write about my life , on this blog, I've never done this whole blogging thing so forgive  me if I'm not up to blog-par. Any who, we'll start with me. and describing myself is something I'm not too fond of. Like the whole personal statement crap that colleges demand. With their stupid prompts that tell you to write about three objects that make you who you are. Yeah three objects, same thing with the portfolio deal. Up until this year I was under the misconception that portfolios are for fifth graders, for macaroni art, and second grade doodles. Guess what guys? Portfolios are a lie, you get to senior year, and BAM! A portfolio is due every other day, and it's such a misleading business, because half the time these grand portfolios hold nothing of value , nothing at all. That just gets me thinking of college sorts of stuff, and goodness me I am so ready to get out of high school, with all the echoey halls, and people who haven't discovered hygiene, and so ready to get out of the little biased town, with people who i have known my entire life. And so as soon as August hits I'm packing my bags , and heading down to a smaller town, but hey, at least I'm getting out of here. That is truly the only thing I care about. , well that and Audrey Hepburn. 

                    So when you get down to it, I am just like everyone else out there, I'm average, as i use that oh-too- cliche word.  But honestly in saying that I would be lying, let's face it, I'm weird, and i don't care a bit. 

                     Now that you've read through a whole lot of hoopla, I'm sure you're curios to the title, and yes i really am a girl of many aprons,I sort of collect them. But not in the typical collector sort of way, in the i actually am going to use them sort of way. I love cooking, and not just cooking baking. But also I am a whole lot of different things, and hopefully i figure some of those things out. And in this sense I am just like everyone else, I'm trying to get to the bottom of myself, and as graduation approaches I hope you will join me on my quest of aardvarks, cocoa powder, aprons, self discovery, and just plain insanity.