I Walked Home in the Rain

I'm feeling poetic, don't ask me why, i couldn't answer you. Maybe its the weather, i love the rain . Maybe it's the way the sky looks, all gray and fuzzy and brooding. I feel like the sky is a giant blanket waiting to wrap me up in that melancholly sort of comfort. It edges around trees, and fills in streets, and when you breathe it feels like your drinking in the air.
               I finished the book 'The Fault in Our Stars' by John Greene yesterday. Maybe that has something to do with it. And it was one of those books that made me change, where you can feel the words inside of your mind, and you know you can never be the same. For those of you who have read you'll understand, if not i'll avoid spoiling anything. But that book made me think, about humanity and how beautiful it is, how beautiful life is.
            I guess it's that we all have a secret, the kind of secret that weighs down on your shoulders. That you push around like a laden down shopping cart, with broken wheels, so sometimes it rolls and other time you have to drag it up the hill behind you. The pain, thats the secret everyone has it. It's what makes us human, it's what makes us strong. The thing that always strikes me about humanity, is that in this big wide world, all of us wrapped like oysters trying hide away the pain, is that we all understand. I am always amazed by the people around me,  who carry around such heavy burdens , and yet they are the ones who make me smile, they lift me up. And i don't know what i would do without them. There are a lot of people who influence you, every person you ever meet etches themselves someway or another onto your conscience. But there's those people that change you, they inspire you, they take your breathe away, and they show you the path. Which is in a way their path, and so we go on and on , and take and influence and follow , and soon enough, we are all part of this giant intricate web. the places we intersect, the people we branch away with.
               I believe in being strong, but i also believe in vlunerablility and crying , and being able to be human. The messy-sobby-i-just-watched-time-travelers-wife-and-read-the-book-thief kind. There's nothing wrong with that. After all, how do we get stronger and pick up puzzle pieces to make new puzzles if there's no pieces to pick up. i guess what i'm trying to say is that i understand.

Smile Please

Can you imagine, if everyone smiled all the time, I'm not talking about the flight attendant barbie smile, but real genuine smiles. Where your eyes go all squinty and you can just feel the happiness, tight in your cheeks, and dripping off your eye lashes. We smile, yes its true, but the fact of the matter is smiles, from what I have seen have become more of a grimace.

And it's a shame I tell you, a shame. I wish humanity were much more of smiles , smiles and happiness. While I know it's a lot to ask, because lets face it, a lot of terrible , unhappy, nasty things happen all the time. But life as a whole would be so much more bearable if everyone smiled. The reason, I believe , that good genuine happy smiles are hard to come by, is that nowadays everyone excepts to just have happiness thrust up them , too many of us, me included forget about all the little things, life has to offer, the little things that inevitably will make you smile.  For me I have some things that just make me laugh 

Number 1: BUBBLES!!!!!! 

Yes Bubbles, how great are they? I love them, today in my theatre class, there were randomly bubbles and honestly it was the greatest thing of my life! Bubbles, for one it's just a really fun word to say, say bubbles 6 times fast , and it just makes you happy, also i feel like that fish in finding nemo. But really there is nothing happier than blowing bubbles, and watching them float all over the place, or stomping around like a little kid and popping them!

Number 2: Not Wearing Pants 

Trust me on this one, if you ever have a blue melancholy no good day, wear a dress. Something about it is just grand. Pants are restricting, and lame, but wearing a dress, for me , well it just makes me feel girly, and a girl can use that every once a while. 

Number 3: Walking around my house like a T-rex. 

Don't judge me, It's true, I can't help it sometimes okay. Like after dinner the other day i started creeping around the kitchen like a dinosaur, it was wonderful, you get the little arms and weird legs going, the best is when you try to run like a dinosaur, 

It's great, also a lot harder than you would think. 

Number 4: 

Yelling German at people

It's so great, because you can literally be saying the you think they are a beautiful butterfly, and it sounds like you are yelling at them to go to hell. It's great. Also German words are just great fun to say, like SCHMETTERLING, or KRANKENHAUSE!!! they sound so angry,when in reality they aren't angry words at all. I love saying squirrel in German too,which i will not spell out because it would ruin the effect.  

Number 5: This picture 

Seriously though , this cracks me up like nothing else. Its a camel! a camel!! and that little girl is just so happy, i swear the smiling right here is contagious. Oh goodness, I love this girl. 

......Smile... 

......Please.....

 It's worth your time,
 I promise

My quest

                This is me attempting to write about my life , on this blog, I've never done this whole blogging thing so forgive  me if I'm not up to blog-par. Any who, we'll start with me. and describing myself is something I'm not too fond of. Like the whole personal statement crap that colleges demand. With their stupid prompts that tell you to write about three objects that make you who you are. Yeah three objects, same thing with the portfolio deal. Up until this year I was under the misconception that portfolios are for fifth graders, for macaroni art, and second grade doodles. Guess what guys? Portfolios are a lie, you get to senior year, and BAM! A portfolio is due every other day, and it's such a misleading business, because half the time these grand portfolios hold nothing of value , nothing at all. That just gets me thinking of college sorts of stuff, and goodness me I am so ready to get out of high school, with all the echoey halls, and people who haven't discovered hygiene, and so ready to get out of the little biased town, with people who i have known my entire life. And so as soon as August hits I'm packing my bags , and heading down to a smaller town, but hey, at least I'm getting out of here. That is truly the only thing I care about. , well that and Audrey Hepburn. 

                    So when you get down to it, I am just like everyone else out there, I'm average, as i use that oh-too- cliche word.  But honestly in saying that I would be lying, let's face it, I'm weird, and i don't care a bit. 

                     Now that you've read through a whole lot of hoopla, I'm sure you're curios to the title, and yes i really am a girl of many aprons,I sort of collect them. But not in the typical collector sort of way, in the i actually am going to use them sort of way. I love cooking, and not just cooking baking. But also I am a whole lot of different things, and hopefully i figure some of those things out. And in this sense I am just like everyone else, I'm trying to get to the bottom of myself, and as graduation approaches I hope you will join me on my quest of aardvarks, cocoa powder, aprons, self discovery, and just plain insanity.